Monday 23 February 2009

Heartbeats After Midnight


It's exactly midnight.

All Lin could think about is how thin the walls are. Paper thin. Even with her television exploding away canned laughter, she could hear the sobbing through the walls.

That was not all Lin thought about. She had wondered about the crying and had searched the next doors for other occupants. There were none. After a while, Lin stopped wondering and got used to the sobbing in the walls.

Lin has also wondered about the midnight. Time to die, innit? Eight minutes more. If sunlight takes eight minutes to reach Earth then this is the last of the sunlight that the other hemisphere is receiving. Then go ahead, inhale all the oxygen you could get and keep your lungs filled and brains alive. It's silly. But when the world is ending, everything sounds either silly or trivial. You don't have to learn anything new.

The world is ending, time to die, yes, time to die. Yes with lots of asses. It had took humanity an entire day to stop panicking when the news was announced two days ago. And the routine of violence and looting and petty crimes were quickly replaced by the need to happy one last time. Once more, forever more. And boy, did these dying people did bouts of stuff that defied morality. Free fall babies, everyone of them. Some embraced occults regardless of absurdity and logic. Who needs logic when you are dying? We all fight to cling on the ankles of religious promises that could give us an afterlife. Lin for one has engaged in a mass orgy six hours ago. It didn't helped anyone though, everybody just ended up weeping instead. 

All broadcasting ceased transmissions two days ago with the breaking of the news. Nobody works anymore. All forms of transportation halted and Lin was struck in her rented apartment a continent apart from her parents. Since then, Lin could only watch Friends season one to ten on her DVD player. It has been her favorite show, Lin has used it to brush up her conversational English when she first came here to study. These guys were her only friends in the four corners of her apartment when she was afraid to meet real people. At the edge of Earth's time line in a foreign country, it's only right that it gives her the comfort of familiarity. Her surrogate siblings whom never failed to put a smile on her face. It kept her away from the memories of her own parents and their fights. The canned laughter went on drowning the ghostly crying of the walls, the burning of the streets and the very thought of midnight. Her favorite character was Phoebe. She had wished she was more like her.

The message was simple. The sun is prematurely dying from a Q-ball infection. It will collapse under it's gravity from it's core at midnight. Six more minutes left until the tails of the last sunlight touches Earth. Lin had heard that everything will be bright forever.

Lin reached for the remote control to fast forward to the last six minutes of the series finale and she found the answering machine blinking in the heap on the coffee table.

She paused the television and switched on the machine.

'Hey Lin, this is Jojo here. Have you heard the news? Don't believe what you heard. It's not true. Remember what we talked about the other time, this is it! The country's so fucked that they have to engineer more lies to distract us. I don't believe that the news ain't coming back. You'll see. This is a fucking conspiracy. Just like when they told us they had landed the moon and shit like that. The sun's imploding now? Fuck that! I will check on you again. But probably try to stay indoors instead for now.'

The second message came on.

'Lin baby, are you there? (Hysterically) Pick up the phone! This is mom. Pick up your goddamn phone!'

The third.

'Lin? Are you there? Pick up the phone. Mummy's so worried about you. (Groaning) Try to catch the next plane back, whatever it is, just come back so we could all be together. (Sniffling) I'm contacting Koon too. Whatever it is, just come back. I missed you kids so much. Call me to let me know you're safe, hon?'

The fourth.

'Hey little sis. Did mum called you? Yea, I talked to her a bit. I'm not going back. I'm not going to see him, not even for the end of the world. Oh my god. (Chuckling) I can't believe this is it. You know what? I think it is not a hoax, it's erm, it's real. Oh god. You think praying will help? (Chuckling nervously) I can't believe I'm saying all these, can you imagine? Listen, little sis, you got to watch over yourself. Are you still with that jackass boyfriend of yours? Well, go to him. Don't be alone at this time. I will come over for you as soon as the flights are up, if they are up. Contact me to let me know if you are safe. If you want to go back, I will go back with you. Love you.'

The fifth message.

'Hello, erm hi Lin. (Pausing) This is Nick. (Pausing) I just want to say I'm sorry for everything. I really do. (Pausing) Please forgive me, I need you to. (Pausing) I'm sorry about the baby. (Pausing) I'm so sorry about the abortion. (Pausing) I'm sorry for hitting you. I'm so fucking sorry now. I'm so stupid. I know now. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. (Pausing for the longest time) Please.'

The sixth.

'Little sis, your bro here. (Hissing fiercely) Do not attempt to venture outside, lock yourself in! This is getting pretty fired up here. They are lynching anyone with an uniform. It's anarchy out there! Arm yourself, lock yourself in! Beware especially the folks from occults, they are the worse! I'm coming for you...'

The seventh message.

'Oh lord, where are all my children! (Screaming) Mum here, Lin, it's mum! I missed you guys so much. Please call us.! I know you hated your father. But please let begone be begone. (Sobbing uncontrollably) Oh lord oh lord oh lord oh lord, I can't stop crying. (Sounding more distant) It's all your fault, Kai! What kind of a father are you! To beat your children so much that they resent you to the inches of your pathetic life. You drove my babies away from me! I hate you. I never thought I would say this, Kai, I hate you. You ruined this family, you happy now? You god fearing man, you have always place Him above all of us. Now your god is gonna kill all of us. Get out of my house! I don't care if the mob gets you and I hope they do! You stay away from this house! (Turning back) Oh Lin baby, please phone home, I'm sorry for everything. I am so sorry for this family!'

The eighth message.

'Lin, Jojo here. This is too much for me. I took all the antidepressants. (Smiling) I just want you to know how much of a friend you had meant to me. I want to be honest and loyal to the end. Be safe. Goodbye.'

The ninth message.

'Hi. If you are listening to this right now, you are cordially invited to join the hundreds of us outside the city hall for our exit ceremony. It will be pain free and everyone is welcome. Do join us if you share the concept that as human we have the right for a dignified death, at our own pace and method. Do join us if you simply just need some company. We all are family now. Good luck.'

The final message.

'This is Dad. I've always loved you.'

By then, Lin was half sprawling to the floor with her claws gripping the wooden edge of the table so hard that her metacarpal veins were popping red. She brawled her lungs out in epileptic cries of whichever short or long howls she could afford her tiny frame to generate. She cried and cried so hard, as if she trying to cry herself to death. As if she was being born. Tearing her hair and pulling the skins of her elbows, Lin demanded pain to accompany her sorrow, she thrashed around hysterically, not remembering what upset her so much in the first place. There were too many factors. Accumulating, it is the horror to live for this moment.

She has become the ghostly cries of the walls.

'One more minute!' Someone has shouted from the streets.

Lin laid on the floor and held her breath. She blinked away the magma tears. There was a knock on her door.

'Who...who is it?' She went to the door disoriented and nervous.

'I heard you crying.' Came a gentle voice.

Lin opened the door and saw a boy her age, he has been crying too.

The boy hugged Lin and their weights sent them onto their knees. They sat by the misty doorway flanked by desolation of the corridors that seemed to stretch on without ends.

'Hold me please.' The boy whispered into her ear, like the last important secret of this world. 'Don't let go.'

Lin put her fingers through his sandy hair and replied, 'I won't.'

Cold freezing darkness seized upon them and though the baring blackness all they could sense were each other heartbeats. Soft pebbles into the ripples. Calm and fearless.

Then there were lights everywhere. Blights flooded the forests, every windows, the lonely machines in the mills and the frowns on people's faces. Blights filled up lakes and hearts and arteries and songs and question marks and the bodies at the city hall.

In vast whiteness, the answering machine is no more.


 


Sunday 1 February 2009

My 25's.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you! Blah Blah Blah, tagged by Owen, Blah Blah Blah, nothing to do now anyway, so here we go.

1. When I put down watching movies in my interest section, i meant every word. I watch movies exhaustively and extensively. Was a film reviewer years ago.

2. It is annoying to watch films with me. There is nothing in this world I loathed more are lameduck idols trying to make it as actors.

3. And sprouted beans.

4. And folks who don't wash their hands after they pee. Seriously they should be gassed.

5. Love to drink, but unable to hold liquor well.

6. With observations from friends for years, it's easy to know if I have a beer too many; I'll start to mouth off fluent English.

7.  Always wanted to be a rock god. Wants to play at Glastonbury.

8. Bad at grammar. Very.

9. Hated Backstreet Boys for the entirety of my secondary schooldays. But has started listening to them now because I missed those days.

10. Thinks that the seventies is the coolest era.

11. Part timed in Bedok's Funland Arcade during my poly years. It paid the lowest wages: $2.50 per hour, yet I'm not surprised; all I do is to watch people play games. The fun part of the job was that we get to play free games for half an hour after we've closed the arcade.  

12. I get to become a cashier in the arcade at times and being cashier it allowed me to take charge of the store's av system. I get to decide what booming music the customers have to listen to. During an insufferable breakup at year 1, all the gamers have to listen for ten hours a day, three times a week was Hikaru Utada's First Love, looping endlessly.   

13. Tone deaf.

14. My waistline unlike the general population is of definitive volume and cannot be expanded. To make room for more food, my body just keep purging. My bowel movement are well rostered, straight after each meal. Never gain or lose a kg in the last five years.

15. Excels in trivia. One look at someone on the tv, I can almost always name you his/her name, movies acted, awards won and other random stuff.

16. Came in third in the whole of Singapore during 1999's O Level Chinese Calligraphy (Arts).

17. There were only three students who did Chinese Calligraphy that year.

18. I like the color purple. And I can explain to you why it is not gay at all to like purple. When I was a boy, I like blue just like every boys. When I reached my angst years, all I associated myself is black. So liking purple now is basically matching these colors.

19. Thinks that girls look hot in purple.

20. Strangely attracted to bookstores. Any bookstore. Must enter one whenever I go to a mall, even if it's the goddamn Popular. Initially wanted to be buried in Page One of Vivo, but decided against it because then Page One will have to relocate. Decided to instead sculpt my dead body into a smiling usher standing inanimately at the Philosophy section of Page One wearing a bubble that says 'Reading Is Awesome!'

21. Told that idea to Vimcent which in one of his function actually met the owner of Page One. Vimcent told him my intention.

22. Is trying to save enough to go Russia. For Lenin, for the Winter Palace, for the Russian chicks.

23. Thinks that the Chinese language is way superior than English.

24. I can eat chicken everyday for the rest of my life.

25. Don't believe in sleeping.