Why marry?

Why marry?

   I’m twenty five years old, I have a stable job and in a steady relationship for four years. I am ripe for marriage.  It has become obvious that no matter how long I can wait, marriage is the next stage of progression in my life. But is it necessary for people to marry?

   Marriage is often included in the grand scheme of the process of human living. It is a stage of maturation in adulthood where one leaves the comfort of his or her family to create a family of their own.  Traditionally, getting married goes beyond just the lovers. It had meant fulfilling a critical parental duty to see their offspring starting their own family. Being married at the coming of age is also important for social acceptance. One can’t help to wonder and even doubt the character of the individual if he or she remained a bachelor or spinster.  Being married and having children satisfy both heredity and social expectations. However living up to those traditional roles often assumed that being a mother and a wife is enough for the female gender. Women usually have to give up their careers for the sake of their family. In such contemporary times, women held higher offices than before and even run for the position of world leaders. Hence the context and roles of marriage must evolve to cater gender equity, and traditional expectations must be reviewed for its practicality for otherwise marriage will become a form of burden for ambitious career women.

   Companionship is vital when one age. Nobody wish to die alone. Having a spouse to care of one another in ailments and loneliness is an ultimate happiness that a couple could attain from their marriage vows. But living together has its downside too. After the initial honeymoon period, most couple faces domestic troubles like invasion of personal space and freedom or having to put up with one another’s household quirks.  Spouses also have to endure the difficulties of staying with demanding in-laws. Sometimes, should the love between a married couple go wayward and domestic violence can happen. The home they had purchased with gay anticipation that they are going to spend their lives together in happiness turn to a jailhouse where the spouse suffers in silence and misery.

   Marrying the spouse of your children and providing a home environment to nurture them is morally and socially expected from the society. Even though it is not so much a taboo now than before that single parents are discouraged, it is still essential for a child to grow up in a home where there is fraternal and maternal love. Being in a healthy marriage sets an example to offspring that they can one day have a blissful family of their own too. However not all marriages have happy endings. A well intended home can be ruined by domestic abuses, extra marital affairs and financial troubles. Often, naïve children are affected badly. Witnessing their role models argue and fight constantly damage the young minds emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically. They can grow up to be incapable of forming healthy relationships with others or even entangled in unresolved emotional or psychological issues like anxiety or inferiority complex that will hinder their functions to society.

   Then why get married when there are obviously many implications not only limited to self but affecting others as well? Accepting the responsibilities of marriage is accepting enormous burdens of finance, fidelity and parenting stressors. It can be overwhelming for newly weds. Although it would seems like a grand idea to just date forever. But as we had examined, marriage is not solely a personal affair between two people but it involves our parents and our children and even the society as well. Perhaps in near future we would dispose of the customary expectations of marriage and abolish its legislation altogether. People will still marry because it is innate in human instinct to want to be with their loved ones, to mature as adults welcoming the challenges of marriage and parenting and to pass on their wisdom to their lovechild, thus sealing the circulatory human experience of existence. To make marriages work, couples would have to be prepared mentally and emotionally to spend their lives with one another. They should have consider their compatibility in decision making, their willingness to compromise to one another and their level of resilience in times of troubles prior in committing to each other. They should also identify sources of support should marriage becomes too overwhelming. Some of the best supporting networks can be our parents, our friends and even spiritual support from churches. Cohabiting before marriage also helps the couple to be prepared for their shared lives ahead.

     In conclusion, marriage can be just a certificate to bind two people in the eyes of laws or it can be the greatest testimonial of the love between a man and a woman. It should be thoroughly considered by lovers before saying ‘I Do!’ on the altar. It should never be decided on impulsion as regrets and dissatisfaction in marriage often occur when the couples are not ready. There will be many challenges in the long road of marriage; therefore it is quintessentially for couples to examine the properties of their love so that it can stand up to the storm of married life.