Wanna hear the saddest story, kids?Here's one. And it's real.
I have a patient. Thirty plus. He has brain tumor. Now tumors are tricky sons of bitches, they are these ticking bombs waiting to explode in your body.
And it did to him.
He came in walking, smiling and talking to us. Then his tumor bled out. Now he drifting in and out of consciousness.
His wife was crying her heart out by the corridor when the surgeons told her that there was nothing they can do further. That western medicine was a cheap shot and there is nothing they could do. They could only make him as comfortable as possible.
That means loading him with inhumane doses of painkillers and sedatives.
The young wife stayed on. She was there for the entirety of the day and only went back home to shower. Eventually when she found out that she could sneak and use the patient's bathroom to shower, she gave up going home altogether. She wanted to be with him until his very end.
The cancer pain. It was a pain like nothing we have ever seen. The pain was so tormenting that it seems physically real. He would wring and groan to nightmares that were never there. He would pull his hair, his tubes and his wife, trying to defend himself from something.
The wife stood by him every moment of the way, called us up for painkillers, sponged him, messaged him and even once apologized when she has fallen asleep. That was four in the morning.
Every minute of his life, she fights to stay with him. Every single second she wants to be there.
What kind of love is this?
Today she was told that at best he would live for three months. She nodded her head and just went back to sat by her husband, pulling his hand over hers and slept on his shoulder.
Three months from now she will lose him forever. I kept thinking to myself that there are so many things I will be doing three months from now. I will get my house and I will be married.
And he will be gone by then.
Three months are just days away.
Sometimes I find working in hospital is kinda 'depressing' but I guess, its also the best place to be in. It reminds us of 'life' every single moment. And its good to be reminded not to take life for granted, not to take what we have for granted.
ReplyDeleteThere'll be the loving ones whereby their love ones stood by them till the end and its so amazing to see people like them and I'll always ask myself if I'm able to do that. Then there'll be the shocking ones whereby patient suffers alone or even got abused or deemed as (financial) burden when visited by their family members. All they talk abt is how expensive it is for them to stay there etc.... no kind loving words.
At the end of the day, we shd jus cherish whatever we have. We have no idea what's install for us the next moment.
And yeah, I do agree that cancer pain is one that is beyond description. I still remember seeing one patient with lung ca and ... I feel equally helpless as the sufferer.
Oh my... 3 month-long agonizing death. Can't they just take him out of the misery? Oh I know, stupid question...
ReplyDeletehmm 3 mths is jus an estimation.
ReplyDeleteMany things can happen or not happen along the way.
We were told by the Dr that my grandma could live for another mth or so but she passed away the very next day. So we were prepared but not prepared enough. Still shocked and painful.
I find hospitals depressing.
ReplyDeletethere are no careers you can find that gets as philosophical as the ones in hospitals
ReplyDeletenot if you're in the Maternity Ward.. sure there are fat ladies all around but balloons and flowers and beaming faces everywhere.
ReplyDeleteYeah...no career can make you so pensive and philosophical...
ReplyDeleteI was in the burn unit for week, which I found depressing.
Maternity wards maybe be differrent.
I flew back to Miri the day before my father died. He was diagnosed with liver cancer and was told he had only 6 months to 1 year left to live.
ReplyDeleteOn that last night, all of us camped out in the hospital room. Three of us squashed on two camp beds. My mom on the sofa. And my sister didn't sleep. Spending the entire night by my dad's side, reading the bible to him out loud.
I don know if he even knew we were there. But that night, I prayed that God would let him go quickly, so he wouldn't suffer any longer.
i'm sorry to hear that. it must been a very trying time for u and ur family.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dat. We had good nurses at the hospital too. Their kindness made us tear with gratitude.
ReplyDelete