My father was a stern and silent man.Every night, he would sit at in the kitchen by himself, rolled tobacco into smokes and drank beer alone.
He was probably lonely. But he was a proud man and men like him kept to themselves.
And he would sat there in the shadows, drinking to himself.
I am becoming my Dad.
He probably found solace in tobacco and alcohol and being alone.
ReplyDeleteYou're not going to try make it better for yourself?
There was a time when men like that were respected. They knew what had to be done and made sure it was. They understood the ways of the world and the nature of the universe. They played their parts and found comfort in what small pleasures they can.
ReplyDeleteThen some gave up, grew senile and said stupid shit like "you're not going to try make it better for yourself?". As if they knew.
Sitting alone and enjoying a beer and a smoke... it's almost a religious experience to me.
ReplyDeletethere is nothing and everything wrong with seeking solace in smokes and alcohol. That's just how some people are and aren't.
ReplyDeletei used to fear my dad. his perpetual silence, his gloom, he never laughs at anything funny on the tv, his raining disapproval with me. now when i'm in his shoes. thinking about raising my own family, about money, about the future, about friends and about loss, i respect him for managing to keep it all together.
alcohol and smokes. they are his only friends, and probably his only intimate family. and if it keeps him sane after all these years, then who's to judge?
That's just how some people are and aren't.