Room One-Three-Ow : #5 - Farewell The Ashtray Girl

Dee smiled her sweetest and explained, 'Dear, you are his mind.'

I wanted Dee to repeat what she said.

I'm a what?

What was Dee suggesting? What did she meant by that?

I'm not real? How could that be? I hacked a sneeze. I'm real. I know I am. I must be real. I ought to be real.

'Look, you can spend the whole day quoting Descartes' shite after when we're done with you.' promised Dee with ever a smile.

'What... what? What are you going to do' I asked.

'We need your surrender.' Grinned Schizo, baring his lithium teeth.

'I... me? How do I do that?' I asked.

'Just take my hand and agree to it.' Coaxed Dee. 'And you'll be forever in a safe place.'

'Where?'

'In her arms.' Smiled Dee.

'Who? You?'

'No sillykins, I will be too busy running this body. You will be with your ashtray girl.' Winked Dee.

'Oh. What will happen to Ang Wei Kiat then? What would you do with him?'

'Many wonderful things. The sole reason why we didn't rid him the way like the others, was that he has potential for great stuff, higher level of destruction. His threshold for madness is low, while its capacity is infinite. His obedience to his delirium will be his greatest servitude to further the doom of many more around him. We can do so much better than you. All you ever was, was to whine and swing between delusional narcissism and the bowels of melancholia.'

'I... I...' Seriously I don't know what to say anymore but only to cross my fingers and hope I could wake up from this very overdue nightmare.

'Just take my hand.' Said Dee as she extends her silky arm, laundering down the axis of the open palms.

'How could I? You are going to destroy him.' I pleaded.

'No. You are the one destroying him. You know that. You suck at what you do. Now playtime is over, Wei Kiat needs to be cared by professionals.'

'What will happen next?'

'I like how your mind work, excuse the pun.' Dee smiled. 'Schizophrenia will replace you in room 130. Then... woo! I'm so turn on just by thinking all those parties!'

For the first time in my life, I kept my silence. It was somehow a relief more than anything else. I was going to shoot myself in the head sooner or later. It's nice to know I'm not the one committing to fuck it up in the end just because I had to. Let somebody else do all the dirty work. A rest seemed very tempting at this moment. Just imagine the peace.

I took my red uniform and passed over to Dee. I kissed her on the cheek. And then I left with Schizo.

Schizo, despite missing his eyes and many important facial features or that he just killed the only two persons I ever knew was really kind to me. We took the lift to a level up. We went to a unit.

'This is the room which leaked over yours.' He offered.

I opened the door. The room was spartan. A large heart-shaped box laid in the middle of the room. Water ran along the edge of the lid and dripped to the damp carpet. Somehow I knew instantly they were more than just water.

'His heart's been crying? Is it not?' I asked.

'You know him better than I do.' Schizo commented. He went over the heart-shaped box and pulled open the lid. There was a staircase inside its red interior.

'This will be your asylum.' Stated Schizo coolly. 'In there, you'll find what you have been seeking for all your life.'

I nodded, bid the brute goodbye and climbed into the heart-shaped box. Schizo offered me his cigar, telling me I would need it and closed the lid over me.

I sat down in the red darkness with only the light of the cigar's glow. I felt I'm sitting onto something and reached for it. It was the ashtray I was looking for.

I remembered who that ashtray girl was.

I remembered every aspect of her, her angelic smell, her smiles and her lovely eyes.

And I will remember that forever.

The cigar burnt out and everywhere went dark.

I held the ashtray close to my heart.


The End.

Room One-Three-Ow: #4 - How To Cook Ang Wei Kiat

'There he is... Look at how cute he looks. Like a pink skin piglet waiting to be slaughter.'

It was Dee.

I woke up and looked at them. Dee stood with her hand at the back of her hip. Someone was with her. Someone huge.

I looked around in daze. The babies were gone. The walls remained wrinkled. Drip. A drop of water from the ceiling leaked onto my face.

'Hello!' greeted Dee with a smile. Her 'DELIRIUM' tattoo glittered in the dark of her silhouette. Her partner was smiling at me.

I got up and faced them. No. He wasn't smiling at me. Dee's huge partner was not smiling at me. It only looked like he was smiling because he had nothing on his face; no features, no protruding organs except that wicked rows of canine teeth. It was a happy growl.

'Dee?' I asked. My head spinning with puzzlement. I didn't think I could stomach any further visual shock or mental fuckarow.

'I want you to meet my friend.' Dee exclaimed happily like a little girl. Her herculean friend whom possessed a faceful of teeth greeted me. When he stopped smiling, I could clearly that he had carved a tattoo on his forehead that said, 'SCHIZO'.

Schizo asked if I smoked? I told him I had an ashtray that went missing and if he wanted to smoke, he could if he find the ashtray. And no thanks, I don't smoke. Schizo grinned again and said as long as I don't mind the cigar staining the furniture, he had brought his own ashtray. Schizo wanted to show me his ashtray.

Schizo went outside my apartment for a while and dragged in something with him. That something had a shirt and a tie. That something brought in a trail of blood.

Schizo the brute asked me if I known the person he dragged in. Though the face was awfully familiar but it was the name tag on the shirt and tie that identity the bloody person. It said, 'Supervisor Of Logics And Processing'. He was my boss.

With a swift snap, Schizo unhinged my boss' jaw and tore out his upper skull. Schizo lighted a cigar and dipped its ashes inside the hollowness of my boss' head.

Dee smiled, and asked if I'd gotten the joke? I shook my head. Schizo howled, bit on his fuming cigar and went outside again.

Schizo came back, dragging Senneti, the security superintendent. Senneti was crying away.

'Let see if you'll find this funny?' Laughed Schizo as he strangled Senneti. Poor Senneti kicked and croaked to his death.

Looking at the gray shine of Senneti's bulging dead eyes. It dawned on me. My boss. Logics and Processing. I think I got the joke. Senneti was crippled and strangled. Sanity was crippled and strangled. No way. Where the fuck am I?

Both Dee and Schizo looked at me. They knew what I knew. Iris the co-worker with large eyes. Years, the neighbor with droopy ears. They hadn't been murdered because they were important features. Dee the Delirium. Schizo the homocidal hulk. That left only one person.

Who the fuck am I?

'Let me help you!' Encouraged Dee as if she was coaxing a kid. She threw a piece of clothing at me. It was my work clothes. The red uniform was imprinted with 'PROPERTIES OF ANG WEI KIAT'.

Dee smiled her sweetest and explained, 'Dear, you are his mind.'


To be continued...

Room One-Three-Ow: #3 - Where Is My Mind

I... I don't know what to say.

Maybe I should stop thinking stuff. Then maybe it would get better. Maybe they would go away.

I... I don't know what to say.

I gotta stop biting my nails. Some of them were black and bloody. I gotta stop tasting myself.

Maybe if I closed my eyes and count to ten. It would get better. Maybe they would go away.

Ten.

I opened my eyes. Everything was the same.

Oh God.

Ten.

Still there.

How
did I end up here? Such stupid question! This was my room. I woke up
and Dee was gone. Her smell was gone. And they were here. Yes. They
were here. I spent the whole morning realizing that detail.

The
walls were made of babies' heads. Giant bulbs of crowning heads grew
from the wallpaper. It was as if I was some sick big game hunter whom
had stuffed babies' heads for trophies on my wall. The babies screamed,
blinked, giggled and wailed. They all stared at me. Every corner of my
wall. Every inch.

Run. Just bolt. I needed help. Now.

Ten. God, they are still here.

I think they are hungry. They started crying. Where could I find giant mammaries to feed them?

Run. While I still could. I needed help. Before I hurt myself.

They
started wailing until they turned green in their faces and puked their
intestines out onto my carpet. They sounded like some twisted concerto
of metals and banshees.

I dragged my feet to the door, with my eyes feasting on the abominated sight on my walls.

Click.
The roll of the door knob gave way and the door was opened. I stared at
the corridor of doors. Each one of them said they were room 130.

No.

I knocked on a door and looked down the hallway. It was dark and gloomy. It was the mouth to some bellies of the beasts.

The door clicked opened. I went in and discovered I'm back in my own room of wailing babies' heads.

I ran.

I
ran as fast as my feet could carry. As hard as my heart could
withstand. I ran like the wind, It didn't matter if I was running down
the stairs to the bellies of creatures. It didn't matter if I fed
myself to them. I ran. I ran some more. Spiraling down the stairs. I
ran down floors and floors. The wailing never stop chasing. I saw
blurry flashes. I saw gloom. I saw my hairy legs bouncing up and down.
Heels crashing to a stop. I looked and stared. And I ran some more.

I
ran to the registration counter. Senneti the maintenance, security and
and the supervisor was not there. I ran outside the building.

The
skies were an odd color. The smell in the air... It was odd. The colors
of the street were washed up. There were not a soul of the streets.
Newspapers flew around the pavement haughtily and cars were silence in
their places. Something dropped from the skies. I think it could be
rain.

More stuff fell. They landed softly onto the gravel and opened up like umbrellas. Proboscis
and colored wing spans. They were butterflies. Many followed. It was
raining butterflies. Like an angry hurricane, they swarm towards me
with hunger.

I screamed and beat them off me. I ran back into
the building, into my apartment. I opened the first door that said room
130 and slammed the door behind me fast. I was back in my room. The
babies' heads were sleeping. I drew the curtain. Thousands of
butterflies splattered dead with their insides smearing my window.

'Dee!
Where are you?' I yelled. She was going to be my genie. My personal
genie. I looked in the bathroom. She was not there. I looked under the
bed, She was not there either.

'Dee!'

The babies on my wall woke up in irritation. They howled and wailed deafeningly.



To be continued...

Room One-Three-Ow: #2 - Reduce Speed When Time And Space Compressed

'Hey! Are you listening to a single word I said?'

I snapped back to my composure and looked at the man who was shouting at me. He looked old and grumpy. He wore a name tag on his red uniform saying that he was my boss. He was the boss of logics and processing. We were at my cubicle in the concrete forestry of cubicles. White lights gleamed softly in the ceiling walls.

'Are you deaf?' He yelled again.

I shook my head. I was almost in tears.

'You got it wrong again!' He slammed a stack of paper onto my desk. My computer shook. 'Does it make any sense to you?'

I left my mouth half-opened like a goldfish. I stared blankly at the stack of paper. My back felt wet. I was sweating like a hog. My hair must be in a terrible mess too. I hadn't look at myself in the mirror. I must looked like a total wreck.

'I want them by my table by the end of the day!' He roared and stormed off.

I sat there, like a child and twisting the tips of my fingernails. I looked at the stack of paper with the corner of my eyes. He was right. It didn't make any sense. Nothing did.

My throat felt empty and lost. I needed a drink. Maybe two. Maybe more. I needed something to hold on to. I'm sick. I think I'm sick. It's difficult to breathe. It's hard to see.

Iris came into my cubicle. She apologised for reporting my mistakes to the boss. She hadn't expected the boss to throw a tantrum. I looked at her and shook my head. She had such large and beautiful eyes. They sparkled like a lake of jewels. I told her my mistakes were significant and assured her not to beat herself up like that. I'm nice in that kind of way. I guess that's why women enjoying sleeping with me. I thought about Dee. I thought about Dee with her yellow top. And I thought about Dee without her top. She looked grand. She looked like an Amazon queen. I hoped Iris would let me get into her pants.

Something real to hold on to.

Iris asked me if I was doing okay. I smiled nervously. I asked her out for dinner. Provided if I could manage to redo my work by the end of the day. Iris looked uncomfortable and she looked away. She showed me her wedding ring and walked off. I never see her again.

Anything to hold on to.

After work which I had stayed overtime alone into dark woods of the cubicles to correct my mistakes, I went home straight. Strange days. Hazy days. Yawning blue. Electrostatic hue.

Anything, please.

The electricity was down. The water was cut. The ceiling continued to leak. There were cracks on the walls. The shadows were multiplying on the screens of every wall. I could not find the ashtray.

Please.

I stared in incredulity as Dee walked out from my bathroom. She was wearing her yellow top. It was very translucent. Her breasts were perky and brilliant in the moonshine. The little crystal skulls jiggled gently around her belt on those tight leather pants of hers. She draped a wet towel on her neck and enjoyed the comfort it brought. The water dribbled around her neck and shoulders.

'How did you...?' I asked in restrained exhilaration.

'Just think of me as a genie...' She sat beside me and looked into my eyes. 'Your personal genie.'

'What do you want from me?' I asked suspiciously. This was all too strange and new. What was she doing? What was I doing? What was she suggesting? Who was she?

'I should ask you that question.' She smiled with a lipstick of perfect teeth.

'What could go wrong from this?' I asked meekly, fully aware of such liaison.

'Everything. You could wake up in a tub of ice with only one kidney.' She laughed. 'Or much worse.'

She was right. Everything could go wrong. They would go wrong. Murphy's law. Crash and burn. Pilot's test-drive. Everything that could go wrong would go wrong. But I looked at Dee's face. It was so right. It felt right. She was right. I was wrong. Everyone was wrong. Murphy was wrong. That was no right or wrong. Happiness was a ploy to prolong lives. Miserable lives. The ceiling leaked. The walls wrinkled. Promises were just positive reinforcements to reward people for enduring living. Miserable living. What could go wrong if everything was wrong in the beginning? Nothing.

I laid my swollen head on her bosom. I asked Dee if she had saw my ashtray. She took off my clothes and told me it was not important anymore.


To be continued...

Room One-Three-Ow: #1 - I Hold An Image Of The Ashtray Girl

Nightmare. Must be. Nowhere. Everywhere. Trees. So many trees in the night. Their shadows moved. Slided and slithered. Someone at the end of the path. Couldn't make out the features. The eyes shone like headlights. Trees shivered. The branches waving. It's too dark to understand anything. Hence, it must be a dream. I felt my legs growing. I felt the darkness overcoming me.

A female voice spoke lightly.

I woke up with a startle. I felt for my face. It was wet. Tears? No. Not mine. I looked at the ceiling. It's wet. It's dripping. It's damp.

I sighed. Someone was sleeping beside me. A woman. A girl.

Who was she? My head hurt. My guts felt squirmy. Butterflies in my belly. Butterflies. Ha ha! I hated butterflies. They had large wings. They flies. I rubbed my eyes painfully. Who was she?

I touched her hair. She looked unfamiliar to me. She was naked. She was warm to touch. She had a large tattoo on her left deltoid. It exclaimed, 'DELIRIUM' in ink. She woke up. She smiled at me.

I walked to the bathroom. I washed my face. The mirror was dirty. I couldn't see anything with it.

I went back to the bed. She was smoking. She looked magnificent. I took the ashtray from her knees and gave her a cup to pour her cigarette into. She asked me why. What's the point of having an ashtray if no one could use it.

'It's from a girl I loved.' I replied simply.

She laughed. And she asked me what was the name of the girl I loved. Then she laughed some more.

She asked me if I had remembered her. I shook my head lightly. The smoke from her cigarette was giving me a headache. She wore her clothes. It was a yellow top. She asked me more questions. She asked me if I could still remembered having sex with her last night. I shook my head. She asked me about my nightmare.

I told her it was about getting lost in the dark woods. She asked me if I could still remember a female voice. I shook my head. I really couldn't remember more.

She asked me if this was our last encounter, then what would I ask of her. I thought for a while and asked about her tattoo.

She slipped her feet into her sandals and said, 'Just called me Dee...'

Then she left.

I looked at the ashtray in the dark of solitude. I wished I could remember whom I loved so deeply before.

It was time to get to work. I went to the closet. I pulled out my working clothes. It was a red uniform. On the back, it was printed, 'PROPERTY OF ANG WEI KIAT'

Hmm...

I dressed myself without the aid of the mirror. The ceiling was still leaking. I placed the ashtray carefully on the coffee table and exited the apartment. Room 130.

Rows and rows of rooms stretched down the corridor. It was very dim in the morning. I found my way to the registration counter. I was glad I was not lost. Like in my dreams.

The security guard behind the registration counter was crippled and sickly. He coughed and coughed. He stank. He was maintenance as well as the supervisor.

I looked at his name tag and it stated his name was Senneti. I greeted him and he greeted back in hacking coughs. I asked him about the leaking ceiling. He shrugged and coughed some more. I smiled and exited the building. I returned back and asked him about Dee. Senneti shrugged and coughed some more. I exited the building.

It was a very dark morning. The sun was lazy. Or sick like Senneti.

I reached my tiny cubicle amidst thousands of tiny cubicles in my company. Everyone wore a red uniform. I punched numbers into my computer all day long. Just punching numbers. A lady walked into my cubicle. She claimed that she was my co-worker. She worked in a tiny cubicle several yards down the row. She said her name was Iris. She too was punching numbers into a computer. She had large and beautiful eyes.

We made useless small talks about the weather and our crappy lives. We laughed a little. She asked me if I had noticed anything amiss. She mentioned something about seeing things. I asked her why is everyone asking me questions. I smiled a bit. She didn't look amused. She checked with me again if I noticed anything different. Did I see anything that shouldn't belong.

I shrugged and shook my head. She was not amused. As she was walking away, I asked her if she ever gave me an ashtray. Iris asked me why is everyone asking her questions. She must be bad in bed. I spent the rest of my day, punching numbers into a computer and thinking about Dee. How could I forget sex? What a dork.

Evening looked like morning as it was night. Everything was dark. It reminded me of the dark woods in my dreams. The one with trembling trees and butterflies. Were there butterflies? I don't remember. Butterflies freaked me out. They had large wings. They flies.

I reached my apartment. I checked my unit number again. Room 130. It was a pain to forget things easily. The last thing I want was to forget where I stayed. The electricity was down. Nothing worked in my apartment. And the ceiling was still leaking. I must speak to Senneti again in the morning.

As I put a pail to collect the leak, someone was at my door. It was a neighbour. He was scrawny and had large dopey ears. He said his name was Years.

Years asked me if I heard anything strange recently. I shook my head and said that I'm not sure. I also said that I was tired and needed a rest, possibly now. I was an unfriendly guy in that sort of way. He shrugged and went off. He stayed at room 155.

I saw the shadows swarm on my walls. They danced and jiggled in the moonlight. I lost my appetite to sleep.

I spent the whole night at the window, trying to remember the owner of the ashtray by the ghastly moonshine.



To be continued...