Eh Why Huh?!!
On
14th June 2004, I was enlisted. Abandoning the near solitude of my
zero socialization and the lack of male bonding in nursing school, I enter
the epitome of brotherhood:
It started with four guys of the same enlistment and ORD date.
- Joshua, Jackson, James (Me) and Jian Ming (Yean) -
Ihad wanted to submit pictures of bravery and patriotism of green men in
strapping weapons and on interesting missions. But I'm aware how our
government are anal on such issues, I'd decided to post homoerotic
escapades instead to illustrate my national service experience.
Embarking
on my 2 years + 2 months of my national service to my country, it
taught me several things for my transition to Singaporean manhood:
On Target Practice: 1. How to play carrom with two hands.
2. How to play carrom for six hours straight.
3. How to play Strip Carrom.
4. How to fart and belch on faces, simultaneously.
5. How to identify the owner of a fart.
On Discipline:
1. Keeping our conversational topic to one single unparalleled subject for the entirety of two years - Sex.
2. How to synchronize our bowel movements at the three busiest period of the day.
(Zhen Rong, Yean (Likes to show his shit!), Jackson (Shit the slowest), Chang, Marcus & Me.)
On Knowledge:1. That a jug of Whiskey + a jug of Beer = accelerated highness.
2. The importance of coating the stomach lining with food is the key to the victory of binge drinking.
3. How to cover each other's ass should a comrade succumb to his hang-over and needed to sleep it off under some table.
4. That parents can name their son - Huang FeiHong, Master.
On Learning from our Mistakes:1.
Never microwave instant noodle without inserting water in it. (It
happened to me, the machine burnt a stinking hole, the cup noddle
evaporated and the room was filled with yellow smoke!)
2. Never to use industrial alcohol to set fire.
3. Never try to put out fire caused by industrial alcohol using a book.
4. Do not accept food and beverages easily (Especially yellow drinks). They are most likely peppered with unmentionable stuff.
5. Do not piss Joshua off.
6. Do not feed Elias pork floss.
7. Do not share drinks with Yean.
8.And buffet restaurants should start banning
Jackson,
Yean,
Joshua&
Li Soon
into their establishment should they still want their job. (They
almost got chased out due to their insatiable appetites.)
almost got chased out due to their insatiable appetites.)
9. Do not down a dozen glasses of Martel even before the appetizers at a wedding.
On Rediscovering Ourselves:1. Zhenrong sang to a tune of '头上蓝蓝的天!' when he was pissed drunk.
2. Joshua played the piano when he was pissed drunk.
3. I chanted my address every two minutes and would scold Jun Rong when I was pissed drunk.
4. Chang would cried and echoed a certain string of telephone numbers when he was pissed drunk.
5. Lionel would played with a balloon exotically when he was pissed drunk.
6. Jackson would get pissed drunk after a glass of vodka.
The Only One Drunk @ Joshua's Wedding, Super Weak.
Allthe above mentioned were of course practised gleefully after office
hours. Unless it's your grandfather's camp. Coincidently, there's a kid
at the next department whose grandfather really owns the camps, hell,
he owns Singapore! Goofing off aside, I toiled my national service days
with a
roomful of comrades whom Shawn liked to call our station (Room 6) as:
The Orphanage Of Unwanted Children.
The Good People Of Room 6.
The Elders' Thrones (Quite racial harmony.)
Kumar Saimon Paul was
PR from Bangladesh . A lot of people didn't knew that Kumar was not his
name, it was however a name his father took up so his business could
function more conveniently. I have learnt a lot from him and hopes to
emulate his positivity, morality and his sunny nature. Definitely a
keeper.
Chang and I agreed nothing was more entertaining in camp than watching a 1.8 metre man-child always trying to act cute. Lionel
would pout his lips or argue with his two fingers + thumb stabbing the
air for authority. We usually had long conversations at his smoking
breaks about friendship and office politics. Our daily 'Talk About Life' sessions.
Bee Guat was our Room 6 supervisor. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Because she doesn't allowed us to call her that.
Shawn, just remember:
从不说向那里去
从不曾向那里去
不经心 又惊心
我们竟就这样避开了确定
每次醒来都怕你不在
John
'Papong' Tan was the inventor of catch-on phrases, which also included
the first line of this blog entry. The smoking buddy of Shawn (who
wasn't?), filled us with the wonders of his 'adventures' from time to
time. I was his constant competitor for company newspapers and girlie
magazines.
The Understudies:
Eng Shing, Shuan and Joel
were to replace Shawn, me and Khairi. Very nice people, hardworking and
friendly. Have to thank Shuan for his 'Aliens' comics during my
hospitalization and Eng Shing for lobbying our outings.
My Drinking Buds And Beyond
Chang was actually the only one who seen me smoked before. But kids,
smoking is bad, it not only gives you good looks and it gives you heart attack as well.
Chang's probably the only friend I made who adores 5566 and Taiwanese
romantic dramas. It was bad of me to often sleepover at his place after
our clubbing, because I want to save taxi fares. But his room power, got TV, fridge, Internet access and air-con!
Marcus'
room was also very charming; attached bathroom, queen sized bed,
Internet access, nice stereos and alcohols. All we do were talk,
talk, talk. He was rightfully the 'Talk About Life' buddy and we
conversed deeply about the many essence of life, inspired a lot
of blog entries in which he was my alter ego, Marx. Marcus is abroad
now, studying. Probably doing drugs and attending bestiality conventions.
Then it struck me, how come I kept getting into their rooms?
That's probably why...
I
think I might have stray my focal point here, National Service is never
about getting pissed drunk and wake up on another dude's bed or how to
slack your two years away. It is ultimately about hard work.
The Elders' Thrones (Quite racial harmony.)
Kumar Saimon Paul wasPR from Bangladesh . A lot of people didn't knew that Kumar was not his
name, it was however a name his father took up so his business could
function more conveniently. I have learnt a lot from him and hopes to
emulate his positivity, morality and his sunny nature. Definitely a
keeper.
I never could remember Zhen Rong
doing any work. All the time while we were in Room 6, both of us were
always scurrying for sleeping hideouts. Possessed paranoia for a
certain racial group because he was robbed at knife-point and was hurt
by a cleaver. Somehow that anecdote has always generated more laughters
than sympathies.
doing any work. All the time while we were in Room 6, both of us were
always scurrying for sleeping hideouts. Possessed paranoia for a
certain racial group because he was robbed at knife-point and was hurt
by a cleaver. Somehow that anecdote has always generated more laughters
than sympathies.
Chang and I agreed nothing was more entertaining in camp than watching a 1.8 metre man-child always trying to act cute. Lionelwould pout his lips or argue with his two fingers + thumb stabbing the
air for authority. We usually had long conversations at his smoking
breaks about friendship and office politics. Our daily 'Talk About Life' sessions.
Khairi
and me did a lot of great work managing Room Six. Our work involve
utilizing the office supplies to its maximum potential. We CENSORED the printer, CENSORED the photocopier, CENSORED the A4 papers, CENSORED the stationaries and CENSORED the files. We even get our photos CENSORED! It's like a freebie hotel man.
and me did a lot of great work managing Room Six. Our work involve
utilizing the office supplies to its maximum potential. We CENSORED the printer, CENSORED the photocopier, CENSORED the A4 papers, CENSORED the stationaries and CENSORED the files. We even get our photos CENSORED! It's like a freebie hotel man.
Bee Guat was our Room 6 supervisor. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Bee Guat. Because she doesn't allowed us to call her that.Shawn, just remember:从不说向那里去
从不曾向那里去
不经心 又惊心
我们竟就这样避开了确定
每次醒来都怕你不在
John'Papong' Tan was the inventor of catch-on phrases, which also included
the first line of this blog entry. The smoking buddy of Shawn (who
wasn't?), filled us with the wonders of his 'adventures' from time to
time. I was his constant competitor for company newspapers and girlie
magazines.
The Understudies: Eng Shing, Shuan and Joel
were to replace Shawn, me and Khairi. Very nice people, hardworking and
friendly. Have to thank Shuan for his 'Aliens' comics during my
hospitalization and Eng Shing for lobbying our outings.
My Drinking Buds And Beyond
Chang was actually the only one who seen me smoked before. But kids,
smoking is bad, it not only gives you good looks and it gives you heart attack as well.
Chang's probably the only friend I made who adores 5566 and Taiwanese
romantic dramas. It was bad of me to often sleepover at his place after
our clubbing, because I want to save taxi fares. But his room power, got TV, fridge, Internet access and air-con!
Marcus'room was also very charming; attached bathroom, queen sized bed,
Internet access, nice stereos and alcohols. All we do were talk,
talk, talk. He was rightfully the 'Talk About Life' buddy and we
conversed deeply about the many essence of life, inspired a lot
of blog entries in which he was my alter ego, Marx. Marcus is abroad
now, studying. Probably doing drugs and attending bestiality conventions.
Then it struck me, how come I kept getting into their rooms?
That's probably why...
I
think I might have stray my focal point here, National Service is never
about getting pissed drunk and wake up on another dude's bed or how to
slack your two years away. It is ultimately about hard work.
Very hard.
It's about encountering a diversity of characters whom will help to shape you into a true man.
Though there are times of deprivation,
but there's always the trusty Issac the glove,
but there's always the trusty Issac the glove,
the Ice-Kachangs,
and the toy monkey whose tail is ever too long for it's own good...
(Warning: This video may be offensive for some!)
(Warning: This video may be offensive for some!)
to cheer us up.
It is a place where we mature.
In woes,
and posterity.
On 14th June 2004, it started out with four guys.
Judging from the photos posted, the monty crew have gotten so much larger.
With some luck, some things might never have to change.
With some luck, some things might never have to change.
I completed my national service and all I got were these lousy flowers.
ORD LOH.
ORD LOH.
